And Then she asks...

  ~ Dear God, Why Me? ~

The memories are flooding

~ my mind .... my heart ~

my life .... my soul ~

I have been and still am.. searching for,

God's true purpose of my return...

When I had my Near Death Experience...

  March 13-17..1999

I never would have believed,

        Or dreamed this would happen to me ~         

~ OH MY!!!!! ~

I was as healthy as anyone would want to be...

Never had anything in my 45 years but colds ~

and the norm for my age...

How could this happen, and why?

To go to sleep one night and not wake up,

  ~ until four days later, ~

In a different place...

Than you last remembered...

All types of machines hooked to you...

not understanding where you are, ~

(whoa,) what had happened, ~

why you want to speak ~ but can't,

hear, but can't answer, ~

~ ( until sometime later )..

go to reach out ~ but you can't ~

your arms, will not move ~

        besides ~ how could I...

(both my feet and legs were tied down)

your mind telling you to do something,

but your body can't,

all this and much more...

To be sent to a place of such joy,

~ peace, ~

~ love....~

and beauty,~

that no dream could ever touch, ~

or words could ever describe, ~

with no secrets, and everything in full view,

nothing hidden,~

Is truly something I can never explain to anyone.

We do not have these words,

in the dictionary only in our hearts...

I have been told that a NDE is

really the closest thing to death..

one will ever experience short of dying,

and I laugh,~

OH MY!!..

Why do you think they had me on

a life support system,

With no chance to live!!!

Because I was in HEAVEN!!!

I can still hear God's words,

"It is time for her to go home,~

Angels...

It is not her time yet and she does not

deserve to come here this way.

"His words were so clear,

Yet so strong they were ~!!!!

Then finally the answer came.~

"I am God ~

I am your creator..

I wrote the book before you were born ~

Everything is in devine order ~

you have to fulfill

the will I have written for you

~ and then you can come home ~

So for now love with all your heart,

Spread your light,

where ever you go,

or what ever you do,

~ this I ask of you." ~

Now, each day I wait for his lessons...

To teach me his words

And his way. ~

Thank You God ~ !!!!

RainbowAngel jb ~

Then your minds returns...

to the place you just came from, ~

you wonder,why am I here?

Where was I before, ~

that place of such beauty and peace ~!!!!

Why am I in pain? I wasn't there ~

Why is everyone looking so surprised to see..

my eyes open? What is going on...

Why is my husband,

telling my brother

and the lady in white....

"See I told you she could do it."...

(with a smile on his face.)

Where am I ,

I want to ask,

but can't,

the words will not come out.

OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!! , such confusion,

~ help somebody ~

Then a whisper in my ear says,

"You can talk now, try." ~

And I could...

First question and so on,

"What happened?",

"Where am I?',

"Was I in a wreck?"

So many questions, ~

So many things to learn again,

Things that we as humans take forgranted...

How to talk,

drink, eat, hold a simple cup, walk, ~

Can you imagine being so old...

( I was 45) ~

Yet, being a baby again?

So, many things I am still trying to learn.